My First Feature Film

It was a usual school day, right at the end of History class. Nick Olson came up to me and handed me a piece of paper, and told me not to open it now. The school day ended, and I opened the paper. It had very simple words:

Meet in broom room tomorrow at end of school.

So I did. Along with a group of about 40 other people from all the grade levels of the upper school. None of us knew what it was about, or why we were there. I'm not quite sure how we even fit in there. Nick Olson and Bryan Michaels were inside, looking more serious than I'd ever seen.

"All of you have been invited here personally and specifically for different reasons. You all have something in common. Among a school of outdoors-loving hippies, you are the exceptional ones who put yourself out there and bring the most to any camping trip we've ever embarked on. It's been hard to pick, but you are our choices."


Choices for what, we asked?

"Don't interrupt me."

Bryan Michaels began to cry. We began to get uneasy. He pulled himself together, and Nick continued.

"We are inviting you to the first annual Underground, Illegit, and Totally Not Todd-Safety Approved camping trip in the history of Key School. It is so underground and illegit that you may not speak of it to anyone, or you will be disposed of."

Everyone shivered.

"Meet us at BWI at 11:50 PM tonight if you are interested in attending this trip. It will be the most significant moment of your entire lives. You must come wearing trench coats and fedoras."

"What if we don't have--"

"THEN YOU'D DAMN WELL BETTER FIND SOME."

With that, Michaels and Olson left the room. No one had a clue what had just happened, but one thing was for sure. I was going to BWI.

I snuck out of the house, stole the Cooper, and drove to the airport with Jeff, since he was also going, and lived so close. We didn't say a word. We put on our trench coats and fedoras, and met with a group of about 30 other people at the front of the airport. Nick Olson's figure was noticable even when disguised by a trench coat.

"Where are we going, Nick?"

"We're going to the Amazon. We cannot insure your safety. If you're scared of dying, leave now."

Bryan Michaels began to cry again.

"What do you mean, afraid of death?"

"STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, JOCELYN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED OF DEATH, THEN LEAVE NOW."

Jocelyn started to cry. Five people left.

We were each handed plane tickets, and told that we had three minutes to explain to our parents where we were going. We all struggled for excuses, but somehow, the parents agreed. We got on the plane, and I sat next to Nick Olson.

"What is this all about, Nick? Where are-"

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY, ALVAREZ, WE'RE GOING TO THE AMAZON. Stop asking questions, it's too late to back out now."

His tone scared me. I'd never heard him so serious before. I didn't say a word, and fell asleep. We were awakened halfway through the flight, and told to get parachutes on quietly so as not to wake the other passengers. The people on the plane seemed to know what this was about, and they let us into the bathroom, which had an emergency release on the floor to allow people to be dropped.
One by one, we all fell from the plane, scared shitless of what was going on. But something was driving us to do as we were told, and so we did.

Where did we land, you may ask?

COLOMBIA.

The irony was killing me. Then Nick Olson told us to wait. Bryan Michaels began to cry, yet again. We were all beginning to get scared. Nick made a phonecall, and within five minutes, everyone was surrounded by FARC guerilla armed forces with guns, yelling in Spanish. This was turning into a nightmare, everyone was beginning to scream and shots were fired in the air.

I knew I couldn't die.

I was Colombian.

We were all blindfolded and put into trucks, and told to keep quiet. Nick Olson commanded the forces in very rough and scary Spanish to take us to the jungle. The FARC leader was scared shitless of this massive bear of a man we call Nick Olson, and so he agreed.

We arrived at the jungle, and the FARC forces pulled out, leaving us there.

"Lets make camp. Then get in a circle. It's time to discuss why you're all here."

We all began to feel familiar with what was going on. The usual routine of camping trips was kicking in, and camp was up and running within ten minutes. We circled up. There were huge boxes that were covered by black tarps, brought in by the armed forces. We had no clue what they were.

"You've all been dragged to the Colombian jungle for one reason, and one reason only. I will tell you all now of what is ahead of you. You are going to embark on a race that will call upon your basic human instinct, and all of the abilities and skills you've been taught throughout your Key School years."

Michaels was bawling, as usual.

"You shall race through the jungle...in these."

He pulled the tarp off one of the boxes and opened it. Inside was a Jeep, but this Jeep had a bow and a boat, then the wheels.

"Why does it, like, look like a boat? Isn't this a race?"

"Be quiet, DeBronkart. Don't ask stupid questions. You're racing to a river. Pick partners, now. Pick someone you trust with your life."

The rest of the boxes were opened to reveal more Jeep-boats. I partnered with Jeff. We were told to get into our cars, which were wheeled to a gigantic starting line.

"You will race through this jungle. There shall be bears. There shall be tigers. There shall be lions. There shall be ligers, and tigons. You will need to maneuver through trees, and monkeys will try to sabotage you. Then you'll get to the river. You each have two parachutes on your cars. Use them wisely. Good luck. See whoever survives at the bottom."

Bryan and Nick disappeared. The cars were started, and a gigantic light appeared in front of us and flickered red. It then turned yellow, and once green, everyone began. The first few parts were open road, and not difficult, Then the road got narrower, and we fought for the front. Suddenly, ligers and tigons came out of nowhere, and took down DeBronkart's car. She was dead. We couldn't look back, or we would be too.

The crazy animals kept appearing, and people crashed into trees. There were explosions, and fire, and death, and blood. Jeff was covered in the blood of a monkey who was run over by our car. It was terribly scary. About three cars died before the river.

Then, once on the water, the rapids began to push us. You could not stop. It was impossible, you could only maneuver through the rocks to survive. Eric and James were in front of us, but they did not have Gerry with them anymore. He had been killed by a giant panda. They were trying so hard to hold in their tears, and continue racing for their lives. Everyone was on edge. Jeff and I struggled through the waters, and we could see before us a waterfall.

"SHOULD WE USE THE PARACHUTE?"

"NO, JEFF WAIT...WATCH!"

And we saw before us that James and Eric had used their parachute, thinking the fall would be deadly, but in fact, it had been a tricky waterfall, and no parachute had been needed to pass it. Other cars had made that mistake too. We cleared it quickly, without wasting out parachute. The waters got rougher, and then out of nowhere, gigantic alligators and crocodiles came and began to attack the boats. Martha and Hailey battled them bravely, but Emily and Alex Vance died because they were too busy holding each other inseparately like parasites. It was tragic. The alligators and crocodiles were passed through, and another waterfall came.

"NOW, USE THE PARACHUTE!"

Nini and Leni's boat crashed and flipped. They had used both their parachutes on the first fall, because they were stupid. We cried at their misery. They would never be seen again. Four boats survived the second waterfall. Then came the final waterfall. This one was gigantic, and deadly. There were birds in the air trying to destroy the parachutes, and one boat died in midair. The other one had no parachutes, and plunged to their death. There was just our boat, and Alex Schulman and Henry Duncan. It was a deadly pair against us, but we trudged on. We could see the finish line.

Alex Schulman would not lose. He had to be first, and pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at our car.

"STOP NOW OR WE'LL BLOW YOU TO HELL!"

Duncan pulled a gun out as well. We didn't know what to do. We couldn't stop, we would die too. And then, before we could yell LOOK OUT, the crashed into a tree for not looking at the road in front of them and died. And so, we arrived at the finish line, and saw Nick Olson there.

"Congratulations. You are the Chosen Ones."


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Craziest fucking dream I have ever had. That shall be made into a movie one day. That's why I wrote it down.